Darling Husband,
On International Women’s Day I have a few announcements to make. Since all your wedding vows have withered its time to enact a new Post-Nuptial Contract. You have been into relaxing mode ever since we married.
You expect me to be a machine, a friend, an advisor, a cook, an encyclopedia, angel face …but never accept me to be a human being. Your honesty has been declining in terms of treatment towards me. Is this the way you dealt with me when we first met? I now wonder about your selective hearing, cluelessness - or maybe a learned helplessness, emotional handicap.
We concurred to share all household responsibilities 50/50.Post marriage slowly and steadily I have been made the head maid supervising everything and if I do not "take charge” you let things fall apart and remain surgically attached to T.V. remote, rooted to the couch.
To have a baby was a joint decision, joint joy as well as joint responsibility. It is frustrating when I can't check-out for a few days - or even just kick it after a hard day of work - without knowing our children would then only eat fast food, not get to bed in time, have a bath etc.
I am most resentful about my career. You get lot of good strokes with your job because you put many extra hours in it while I am instead zooming out of work so that everything at our home works smoothly. Husbands’ professional success doesn’t mean that the wife’s career is reduced to ashes.
TREAT ME EQUALLY AS A PARTNER
All your grandiloquence about our equivalence has come to nothing. You promised equal partnership in everything but haven’t lived up to your rhetoric. Marriage is like two people pulling a cart together. It isn’t possible until both of us give 100% of our mind, soul and bodies. The moment we join in matrimony you cannot separate yourself as 1+1 equals 1 now and not 2.
You are captain of our ship by mutual agreement. I trust you, your decisions and navigation in most matters. That doesn’t mean I am inferior or incapable of judgement or resolving matters. I am your intellectual equal, as well-read as you. You have greater strength for protecting me and not for domination. Our inequalities are for performing different tasks.
We cannot avoid conflict, resentment, inharmony until both of us are open to discussions and decisions on equal basis so that neither of us is ever considered inferior or less important to the relationship. The dynamics of equality can only be maintained with more effort on your part.
MORALITY OF OUR MARRIAGE
You can’t be a moon shinning and smiling to the world and being cold and dark to me. This is inadequate concept of marriage if husband thinks he can serve god and be a good human being without being good to his wife. God is god of justice he cannot reward your injustice towards me.
Further your spiritual journey is incomplete without me. Remember I am your missing half. You cannot achieve salvation by treating your wife as your mistress.
I WANT MY INDIVIDUALITY
As long as we dated I enjoyed your undivided attention, compliments, appreciation, and encouragement in each and every thing I did. I had value and was treated as a person. Before marriage you laid awake all night thinking about all I said and post marriage you sleep before even I start to speak. Have I made a mistake by saying yes? I feel trapped in this web all the time.
Marriage has caused you to regress and emotionally stunted. You respect your friends as persons as beings while I remain one of your most prized possessions, your most handy gadget to keep your house going. I am an individual, worthy of talking, be heard and understood. As a wife I have emotional needs and special desires which you have been extremely unfair in fulfilling.
You treat your China better than your ordinary dish isn’t it? So from now on I need your attention and respect as a person. I refuse to accept your indifference and lethargy any longer. When you respect an individual as a person you make genuine effort to be interested in them, in their likes, dislikes and problems.
I will neither dominate and fight for my rights nor will I be dominated by you and be a family slave. From now on I require to be treated equally on all grounds.
Your ever loving Wife
No comments:
Post a Comment