DARLING FATHERS AND DARING DAUGHTERS

Anu was all of 5 when her father left for Dubai to earn. Young Anu laid plates for her father every night at dinner not knowing how far away Dubai was. She carried this notion and ritual for over many months thinking her father may appear any day. Over the next 20 years she developed a number of psychological and physical ailments ranging from anxiety neurosis, bipolar disorder to osteoclastoma all having their roots in that episode of yearning for her father.

Even I, myself used to develop high grade unexplained fever whenever my father was outstation on tour. I used to croon yaad aa rahi hai, for him, even though I was still learning to speak.

The above cited incidents show how important a father is to a daughter and the prime role he has to play in her life. He is the first male that a girl comes across and hence becomes the role model of her life. Boyfriends, brothers, even husbands can’t shape a girls character the way a father does. He influences her entire life because she gives him an authority she gives to no other man.

All daughters need their fathers from childhood to adolescence to adulthood. And the best part of this relationship for her is to know that she is loved unselfishly and unconditionally. It is also said that the bond the father and daughter shares helps her through all difficult challenges in life as he is always right behind to pick her up when she stumbles.

A daughter’s self-esteem is best predicted by her father’s physical affection. Girls with doting fathers are more assertive. Fathers help daughters become more competent, more achievement-oriented and hence more successful. It is 'he' who will teach his daughter the values of life and to know that having rich values inbuilt can be much more achieving than just having a pretty face. AND ONLY LOVING FATHERS RAISE STRONG DAUGHTERS.

The way a father treats his daughter is a strong indicator of how she will relate to men for the rest of her life.  She sees the reflection of men in the rest of the world, through her dad and often perceives that all men should be like her father. He plays the most influential role in her life. He is the guide, the savior, the protector, a friend and most importantly, the ultimate caretaker, who nourishes her in the loving and protective atmosphere set by him. He is so determined to give the best life possible.

My father gave me all the freedom a girl could ask for apart from immensurable love, care and affection. All of life’s decisions have been taken by me and he has remained my pillar of strength and trusted me all the times. He is never concerned with what family and friends would think of my bizarre decisions. The best thing about my father is his unlimited patience and that he keeps all hurt to himself. I wished that all girls had as angelic, liberal and loving father as mine.

I.S.D. versus S.T.D. (on NO TOBACCO DAY, MAY 31st)

It’s been long since I have been having this debate with Dr Manmohan Singh. Not our prime minister but my senior of last 8 years. And in all these years two of our habits haven’t much changed. Mine I.S.D. and his S.T.D. In those pre-cell phone days, to make a call you usually had to access a S.T.D. booth. He too used to sneak in between the working hours for S.T.D., though it was never to call anywhere but to smoke a fag.He would tell his patients or colleagues that he has to rush for an urgent STD call. Those who knew smiled sheepishly and who didn’t, commiserated.

While he was popular for STD, I was famous for I.S.D. calls lasting 5-10 minutes. It was those few minutes when I would disappear to offer Namaaz and if anyone asked about my whereabouts my senior would simply tell that she has gone for an ISD call. Our habits, my advisement over non-smoking and his justifications for doing so have continued for last 8 years.

Smokers, without exception, have self-satisfying rationale for non-acquittal and to hold on. Some blame tension, strain, guilt leading to self destruction while others peer-pressure, frustration of not being able to do something you wanted or sense of rebellion. But I find my option of praying, in a similar situation, better, natural and far more logical.

Work, relationships and money all contributes to daily distress. But is there anyone who solved an inherent life problem or a real catastrophe by a glowing cigarette? In fact it is the most gutless act of escaping instead of solving a difficult situation and one of the most cowardly modes of suicide.

 I reason that this is the result of being dissatisfied and unhappy about oneself and circumstances and not being able to realise God and gift of life. Prayer is a communion with God. It has been said that, "Seven days without prayer, makes one weak". Perhaps it is this weakness which makes one succumb to addictions. Prayer allays fear and anxiety, which in turn disrupts the vicious circle of stress, smoking and addiction.

 Regular praying makes you better and stronger human being not only physically but also spiritually. Prayer alone repairs the soul, while smoking only ruins and devastates health. Prayer gives you strength to resist temptation to all kinds of addictions. It connects you to the right kind of people and avoids peer-pressure which eventually brings peace in homes and jobs. Besides you can pray as much, long and whenever you want without boring God.

Isn’t it better to pray than to give up or surrender to a fag? So ISD or STD which one you think is better? Will you still continue to smoke?